To My Brother
“He teased you and tickled you and stole your stuff. He was your best friend and your worst enemy, your tormentor and your protector. He’s the one you always knew would be there, anytime you needed him. He’s your brother and you love him like CRAZY!”
On June 18, 2008, my older brother suddenly passed away. He was doing his usual jog to train for the upcoming San Francisco Marathon and from what they tell me, he just collapsed. That day, I answered my phone only to receive the news no sister, no family member ever wants to hear. I didn’t want to believe it and still don’t…
When I used to think about my future, I would think about my relationship with my two brothers. We have always been close, closer than most siblings. And this is because of another earlier tragedy we faced in our young lives with the loss of our mom to breast cancer. Moving around so often meant losing touch with so many friends, my brothers however, were always there and we stuck together.
Some Memories…
Being one year younger than my brother, he was always looking out for me in school. I remember one time in elementary on the playground, one guy started throwing snowballs at me. Just as he tried to throw another, my brother tackled him and warned him to leave me alone. The guy was so scared of him and all I could do was laugh.
I have often wondered if I would have the same interests if I hadn’t grown up with two brothers. Would I be as interested in video games? Would I have a love for Star Trek and movies like some of our favorites Aliens and Terminator? Would I be working in the technology field? It is hard to say what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up with brothers. But I do know that if I didn’t have my older brother’s guidance and positive influence growing up, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today.
Video Games
It was my brother that gave me his NES to keep in my room. And that’s where I’d stay when his friends would tease me.
My brother was always teaching me how to play different games. I tried to make him proud by defeating people who challenged me (whether it was in the arcade, DS or on Live). He would usually win at most games, but I’m sure he got a kick out of it when his ‘lil sis’ beat him even if he was pissed about it.
There have been sooo many games that my brothers and I enjoyed. We used to stay up all night playing Romance of the 3 Kingdoms on the Saturn, a console which my brother used to go online and connect to one of the first online communities, The Park. My favorite memories of gaming with my brother had to be Phantasy Star Online for the Dreamcast, and FPS gaming on the PC.
One of my favorite recent memories of my older brother is playing Gears of War online on the Xbox 360. I would play Marcus and he would join in and play as Dom. When I first started playing, I had to learn how to play with the controller (I was used to playing FPSes on a keyboard and mouse) and I remember how patient my bro was telling me via the headset what to do, which enemies to aim for and how to control the character. I started to love the game and we would schedule time to continue our save file until we finally finished the game together. I remember during parts of the game where each player had to split up, he kept failing. I was so mad telling him how easy it was and how this is the 5th time already. I remember him laughing, apologizing and me saying “fine…one more try” not willing to give up until we completed it. We were both looking forward to picking up where we left off in GOW2.
My brother loved Shenmue hence the use of the name RyoHazuki, but every time I asked him if he finished Shenmue 1 yet, he would always joke that he was at the part where Ine-san opens the mailbox (the very start!!). One day at work he found a stray kitty, and brought it home. The cat was orange just like the kitten whose mom got run over by the black car Lan Di rode in. He was like Ryo in so many ways.
If there was an import game he thought I’d enjoy, he would pick it up for me and give it to me the next time I’d see him. Ouendan, Rhythm Tengoku, even the Japanese Brain Age were just a few gifts from my brother. He was always so giving and wanted us to enjoy everything he did, from video games and gadgets(he got me my 1st gen iphone!) to movies and trips he took to places like Hawaii.
Comp. sci.
My older brother first introduced me to computer programming in high school. When it was time to choose electives, it was suggested that I take ‘home ec’, but it was my brother who said I should take some computer drafting and programming courses instead. He always taught me to defy the stereotypes and to never limit myself. When I decided to pursue a career in software programming, it was something my brother was very pleased with.
To Boldly Go
We both shared an interest in Star Trek. Although neither of us have been to a Star Trek convention, we have been to other conventions that included star trek actors and of course the Star Trek experience in Las Vegas, NV. My bro was really lucky to go to Star Trek the tour in Long Beach (I hope it eventually comes to Vancouver). A few days ago, some co-workers got me a star trek phaser for my b-day. The first thing I thought was I had to tell my bro about it. Only he would get as excited as I over such a toy.
Aside from gaming, sci-fi, and taking his responsibility as ‘big bro’ very seriously, my brother also loved music (I saw a recent request of Marie Digby’s ‘say it again’ via txtmsg on his iphone), concerts, sunsets, basketball(he was disappointed with LA’s loss to Boston), frozen yogurt, giving generously to others, his hybrid car, his family, the holidays, flying kites, kayaking, convention-going(my last few emails to him were about Comic-con 2008) and running marathons among other things. He ran a total of 10 marathons since 2005, which have included those in Las Vegas, San Francisco, L.A., San Diego and Honolulu. His last marathon was the San Diego marathon on June 1, 2008.
He affected more people than we first realized. My family and I were approached by so many friends and co-workers who I hadn’t met before, all of whom shared their wonderful memories about my brother.
My Brother. He had his online persona, where he shared a lot of who he was in his blogs, but he had his(Real Life) persona too and . And it didn’t matter which one it was, he was genuinely kind to all who met him.
Ryo, Cdngrrl, Missho @ PAX 2007
Ryo, Astrocreep, Rez2cool @ E3 2006
It’s hard to really explain how much my brother meant to me. It’s even harder to think that I’m talking about him in the past tense. Those of you with siblings shouldn’t take them for granted. What I regret most from all this is that I often missed opportunities to talk to my brother because I was “so busy” with my life. I know my brother loved his siblings, but I hope he knew how much I loved him too. I am so thankful that I have had 27 years of good times and memories with my brother. And I’ll miss him everyday for the rest of my life.
(My brother’s favorite quote)
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away”
Thank you